Be gentle with yourself – I wish I could say something to take your guilt away, because you’re a fantastic mom. Whenever I’d had a long week at work, I’d been able to plan to sleep in on the weekend. ( Log Out / It makes the more vulnerable amongst us feel less alone. Because I am too tired and too wussy to do anything about it. Breastfeeding is replaced with other more vague forms of care. This horrible, nightmarish, someone-is-trying-to-murder-me-call-the-fucking-cops scream. 30 minutes later baby girl woke up screaming bloody murder. Give me a freaking break to those of you who think I'm being mean / callous / ungrateful. i had some similar incidents w/all of my three girls; they are old enough not that i can look back & smile about it – it’s all beloved family lore now! Best yet, they are supported by a thoughtful, reasoning family and they are wrapped in our love. I put my professional life on hold, in order to be a stay-at-home dad. They can devise you a plan to help your kid sleep with no CIO. I honestly think the sleep training is akin to child abuse. I have 2 boys, 1 who slept in his bed at 4 and cried every time he couldn’t sleep with me, I was pregnant. Children cry because they have a need that is not being met: comfort, safety, pain, fear, hunger. I had the good fortune to make my main “hobby” my lifestyle and livelihood, so it was a huge part of my identity. Good luck, and don’t be so hard on yourself. “Sleep training is akin to child abuse”!? I just read an article in parents magazine how important it is to keep your own identity. Oh, isn't being a new mom a riot? I need a VACATION !! It was never a dream of mine to stay home with kids. Gym memberships continue to grow, but so does prejudice. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. I thought I would miss it like a hole in my heart. Being a stay-at-home mom doesn’t come with any of that. With that thought came a bizarre mixture of guilt over wanting to go back to my non-baby life, and blind panic of the “holy shit I have a kid, what the fuck have I just done?” variety. I hope things get better for you. I can’t remember what I searched to find this post, but I found it and have read it 3 times in less than 12 hours. OMG Thank you for this, I love my baby girl but I’m so exhausted of taking care of her, I am a working mom and when I’m home all I do is be with her or do house chores, I am in a zombie like state every day, it’s nice to read that I’m not alone…. I just found you via blog her. Udderly exhausted. Of course I was going to sleep when the baby slept. I love my kids with all my heart. It takes a lot of perseverance on your part to be able to have the strength to say “OK.. he is my first priority… but if that is true than where do I come in?” (I’m not even her mother and that was a trip.) Nobody’s perfect. And it is a relief to know that each stage has its place and I don’t have to pine away for what I’ve lost. I mean, yeah, I knew it would be hard, but hard in a being-super-brave-through-tough-times-like-Florence-Nightingale sort of way, not hard in a grinding, miserable, I-hate-my-life way. Why would I care about friends partying it up and having fun? Thank you for sharing this so others know they’re not alone. That you won’t be there for her? Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. I want to go back to my old life, the life where I slept in on weekends, watched TV whenever I wanted to, and sometimes spent all day having sex with my husband. Mom life can be just crazy sometimes. I have 4 kids as well, but I’ve learned those days that I feel the most overwhelmed if I remember that God chose me to take care of those little angels I can make it through. June 29, 2020 June 29, 2020 by Krystina. I'm tired of being Mom. I’ve written lots on similar subjects to this on my blog, you can find it at http://www.mummykindness.com . (This post contains affiliate links. I am the mom who just wants to run away. ( Log Out / That’s a great reminder. Mom Life In Pajamas - 2020 © Mom Life in Pajamas is a participant of the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon.com. I limited a lot of his food. I do. I’d just made an entire new person that had never existed before – how could I be expected to sleep after doing that? I just filed it under “obvious advice is obvious,” and thought nothing more of it. It’s hard to talk about with people so I really appreciate when I see posts and articles about it. Well, it turned out to be me, and they swear, from age zero to two, the only time I wasn’t crying was when I was strapped into my car seat. 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